All About The Plan B
by AssortedFudge
Summary: Tony DiNardo is relatively happy with his life as a college Film Studies professor and fiancé to Jeanne, until she announces she's pregnant and old commitaphobe Tony comes rushing back to life. Thrust suddenly into the lives of students, fiery Kelly Gibbs and reluctant tag-along Tim McGee, Tony's about to realise he's in for more than he bargained for. AU.


Bullets ricocheted off the bare walls of the warehouse, sending the man inside diving for cover as the insurgents drew closer to his position. Tony swore as he realised his weapon was out of ammo, and desperately tried to reload in time for the next assault. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead and upper lip, one started to trail down the side of his face as his enemies drew closer.

"Come on... come on... dammit!"

The bullet hit the soldier in the chest and he sprawled backwards. Game over. Tony threw the controller down in disgust as the video game reloaded back to the beginning; rendering all his hard work and dedication of the night useless. He turned on the TV and got up off the couch, heading to the fridge on a new mission, this time for beer and whatever leftover takeout food was on offer.

Picking up a carton of Chinese food, he lifted the lid and took a cautious sniff of the dubious looking contents. Immediately regretting it, he threw it towards the trash can and missed - sending chow mein all over the kitchen floor just as he heard a key in the front door. At the fastest speed he'd moved all week, Tony dived towards the mess on the floor and scooped the congealing noodles into the carton just as Jeanne stepped into the flat and closed the door behind her.

Tony straightened up and offered a winning smile to his fiancée. "You're back early."

"Sorry, am I interrupting your big plans for the evening?" she asked with raised eyebrows, looking towards the TV where The Jerry Springer Show was starting.

"You know how Jerry's Final Thoughts inspire me," Tony replied. His face lit up like an excited child as she handed him a pizza box. "Hey, pizza! What did I do right?"

Jeanne shrugged and smiled, though something wasn't quite right about it. Cheese dripping down his chin as he wolfed into his first slice, Tony's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You want something."

"Why does there have to be an ulterior motive to everything?" she replied as she muted the volume on the TV. "But seeing as you've asked… I've got something to talk to you about. You should probably sit down."

Tony lowered himself onto a stool and crossed his arms. "Okay… let me prepare myself." He closed his eyes and began to hum.

"Tony-"

He held up a hand to silence her and hummed louder.

"Tony!" she said, laughing, "This is serious! I'm pregnant."

He stopped humming abruptly though his eyes remained closed. Images flashed before his eyes: hundreds of screaming babies crawling around their apartment; him, knee deep in dirty diapers; having to drive a … "family" car. Oh God… he'd have to give up his car. This was a nightmare.

"Tony?" Jeanne sounded unsure this time and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Are… Are you sure?" he managed.

She nodded with a smile. "I took three tests at work… all were positive. What do you think?"

"I… I think it's… great?"

Jeanne sighed, her smile gone. "Look, Tony, I know it's sudden and unplanned so you'll need time to get used to the idea but I'm really happy about it. And I was thinking, maybe we should move the wedding forwards? To sometime in December?"

Tony's eyes widened. "That's two months away!"

"Is that a problem?"

"It's just… it's a little soon, don't you think?"

Jeanne stared at him, her mouth set in an unhappy line. "I knew it. I knew you didn't want to get married; all your talk was just pretence wasn't it? As long as there was no date you could pretend it wasn't really happening, that one day you could go back to your old life with no responsibility and no commitments. Well guess what, Tony, this-" she pointed at her stomach "-is one commitment you can't run away from."

She stormed out of the room, leaving a dumbstruck Tony behind. Appetite gone, for perhaps the first time in his life, he dropped the half eaten slice of pizza back into the box and pushed it away – resting his head in his hands. Oh his dad was going to have a field day with this.

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _"Tim, hurry up! I know you're in there, come and open the door!"

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _"Come on! Hurry up!"

_Bang. _"TIM!"

Tim, half into a pair of pants, stumbled out of his bedroom trying desperately to pull the twisted fabric up over his legs before his visitor broke down the door.

"I'll be right there, just give me a second!"

"Now, Tim!"

Finally yanking the offending item of clothing up around his waist, he hurried to the front door and unlocked it, only just managing to dodge out of the way before Kelly burst in.

"Uh… hi," he said slowly, buckling his belt, "Did we have plans- oh wow."

Kelly turned to face him, showing off the huge twin black eyes.

"What happened?"

She waved her hand in irritation, "Some jackass wasn't watching the road and plowed straight into me, so now my car's a wreck along with my face, my insurance is refusing to pay out and after spending all night in the emergency room my father is convinced it was my fault because, and I quote, "You just don't pay attention, Kelly.""

She stopped in her tirade and ran a hand through her long auburn hair, her breathing slightly faster. Tim narrowed his eyes and ventured,

"So… you need a ride?"

She turned to face him again, her hands on her hips. "Well, _yeah_, Tim. Why else would I be here?"

"I'll go get my jacket," he said, escaping back into the bedroom.

Kelly wandered around the room, still thinking furiously over the previous night's events, when a formal letter on the coffee table caught her eye. Looking behind her to make sure Tim wasn't about to catch her, she picked it up and scanned over the contents.

_Dear Mr McGee,_

_Unfortunately, Deerham & Son Publishers cannot-_

"You ready to go?"

Kelly spun round, hiding the letter behind her back and nodded.

The car ride passed mostly in silence as Kelly applied more and more make-up to the purple bruising in an attempt to not look as if she'd just done five rounds with Mike Tyson.

"How do I look?" she asked.

Tim turned to look at her. "You look… better."

Kelly rolled her eyes and stuffed the make-up back into her purse. "Thanks, Tim. You really know how to make a girl feel special. There's a space right there." Pulling in, Kelly jumped out of the car. "Thanks for the ride… same time again tomorrow?"

"Sure," he said with a smile and a nod.

"Thanks, Tim. I'll see you in a couple hours."

The time dragged by until their Film Studies lecture, the one Tim dreaded the most, all because of their professor. The guy was a maniac; he took every opportunity to pick on Tim about anything he could make a stupid movie reference to.

As Tim trudged into the lecture hall, he saw Kelly give him a little wave and changed direction to join her.

"How many insults do you think I'm getting today?" he asked darkly, as he dropped into the seat next to her.

"I think today might be an average day, considering it's Thursday. Maybe … two comments on your hair, five on your jacket."

Tim looked down at himself and frowned. "What's wrong with my jacket?"

"Apart from the fact that you got it at Angela Lansbury's yard sale, nothing, McGee," came the hated voice as Professor DiNardo sauntered into the room. Chuckles spread across the gathering students, even, McGee noted with a tinge of embarrassment, Kelly who pressed her hand to her mouth to hide it.

"This jacket cost me $120," Tim said hotly.

"Then I'd say crafty old Jessica Fletcher conned you for $119," Tony replied.

"Don't listen to him, Tim; at the most she got away with $95," Kelly whispered once the lecture had started, "He's just jealous because he clearly can't pull off that shirt he's wearing."

"Quiet down, Rocky," DiNardo said looking over to the pair.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "Yeah a boxing reference, original. I'm rolling on the floor in my hysterics."

"Actually I was referring to the raccoon," the man said before returning to his lecture.

Tim looked away so that he wouldn't laugh at the outraged expression on her face. "Just another day in paradise."

Oh, how that was about to change.

_Stay tuned for bad grades, car-jacking and more movie references in the next chapter._

* * *

**AN: Hi everyone! Okay, I am pretty bad at writing beginnings so bear with me, the next chapter will be a whole lot more interesting (and longer), this one was just to set up the characters for all of the insane stuff they're about to do together next. Please review! This is my first NCIS story and I'm really excited about it!**


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